Minns du när imperialisterna bar franska namn?
När ni segrat fick bönderna jorden
Några år fick ni bruka era åkrar ifred
Sen kom herrarna tillbaka och tog den
De kom med vapen i hand
Och med en ny bundförvant
Nu stod det “made in USA” på gevären
behövde mer profit
De kom hit med den stora dunderhären
Hi President Obama,
Congratulations on the win! I’m really glad. I didn’t vote for you, but if I was a US citizen I definitely would have, and you can bet that I told the eligible voters that I do know to vote for you. I’m really relieved that you came out on top in this election.
Fantastic results with the passing of gay marriage and the other social milestones we hit, too. I know that’s not directly you but you seem to be a vaguely sane and nice dude so I’m just gonna assume that you’re sharing in the joy that certain very marginalised minorities have come out of this very slightly less marginalised.
So, now you’re full president again, rather than just maybe-full-president, you can get back to work, and I can stop defending you for fear that it’ll scare people into voting for Romney.
Because that’s what I’m gonna do - stop defending you. There’s no re-election to hit any more, so there’s no reason to stand up for you. We were allies up until the night of the 6th; we’re not any more.
You acknowledged that climate change actually exists - whoopee doo. That’s the absolute bare minimum, there; let’s not pretend that it was wonderful that it got a mention, let’s acknowledge how embarrassing it is - for you - that you didn’t talk about it during the campaign.
Aaaand also you’ve still got bunch of people in being tortured indefinitely in a secret island prison.
Aaaand also you’re still blowing civilians up with your robot army.
That’s straight-up supervillain behaviour. I phrased it unflatteringly, alright, and I’m not perfect myself, but you can be damn sure that there’s not stuff I’m doing in my life that you can portray so that an idle read would suggest that I have a golden claw for a hand or that my skull is capable of movement sans musculature and permanently exposed.
I overlooked all this atrocious stuff because, let’s not kid ourselves, Romney would totally have gone even further with it. But now that he’s out of the way, you’re not gonna be the dude who champions the middle class until you’re the dude that actually appears to give a shit that the other end of your signature has explosives raining down on noncombatants.
Anyway congrats! I hope you have a good day and I also hope that you close gitmo and stop the drones. Or god even stop ramping up the drones. At this point just a plateau in the droning would be a plus.
PS the humour of the fact that people keep reiterating the same points, over and over, about an activity that is literally referred to as “droning” does not escape me! but if you or anyone is gonna accuse someone of beating a dead horse I’m just gonna point out that the horse is actually alive and swoops out of the sky to trample children into bloody smears with its American-made hooves
PPS a “night-mare” haaaah